[ . Scʜʀԑɩ ɴɑcʜ ʟɩԑɞԑ . ]

01 June 2009 @ 03:25 pm

I just feel full of stupid and useless. Just full of useless.

Emo emo angst. I just curled up and cried and abusedmy pillow, but no matter how much I punched and clawed and screamed into it, I just can't get rid of this tension. My temper is short and that includes my temper with myself. Lovino is the perfect muse to have up right now. I wish we had the money, so I could have the fuel, so I could just leave and chase storms for a day. But I have responsibilities and favours to do and I just. Frag.

Once again I just want to sleep. I think that's my favourite solution.

Once again I just want to-- fuck school. Fuck... volleyball. Fuck math tests. Fuck not having enough money even when it's summer. Fuck my mom spending more time on my sister and making her happy. Fuck cosplay, which feels like it's more trouble then it's worth, so why do I keep at it? Fuck my own inability to let something go, while I'm at it. Fuck my attitude, why can't I be as optimistic as I tell everyone to be? Fuck being so far away from the one(s) I love.

FFFFFFFF. -Death.-

Current Music: Marty Robbins - Master's Call

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22 May 2009 @ 08:41 am

(no subject)

Brb Diana's house. 8D
(Will be back Sunday.<3)

Ps. VICTORY OVER THE FAMILY!

Current Mood:

happy

Current Music: Black Hawk Down - Barra Barra

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19 May 2009 @ 05:39 pm

(no subject)

I just wanna fall asleep and not wake up until next month.

Current Mood:

crappy

Current Music: Star Trek - Enterprising Young Men

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19 May 2009 @ 07:01 am

(no subject)

I am so frustrated.

I warned my mom for months ahead of time that I was going to avoid Mule Days and find a place to go for Memorial Day weekend (my school gives me four bloody days off!), and she waits until my plans are solid and I'm all excited, three days before hand, to tell me that I have to stay for family. And prepare for me to sound like a big old teenager.

Screw family.

They just bitch at and tease me anyways. I don't want to go to Mule Days, it's an overglorified rodeo of 30,000 attendaes that overwhelms our tiny town of 3,000 people. I don't even want to be here. Stores are over crowded, traffic is awful, tourists are rude. I don't. Want. To be here. I want to go to Diana's house, where I can lounge, and relax. I'm in the last two weeks of school, my nose has been to the grindstone more then ever and I want to relax, not be smothered by my family who'll want to drag my ass out.

... I'm just. Grah.

You'll have plenty of time to see your friends over summer.

Like they don't have jobs, school, cons, their own lives!? Like I can stay for weeks on end at their houses?

I so freakin' hate this town. It's small, I want out, I don't want to BE HERE. I tolerate it until my mom cuts me off.

Countdown starting. I'm out of here the day after school.

17 Days

Current Mood:

annoyed

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13 May 2009 @ 07:14 am

Rawr.

And the feeling of accomplishment only becomes more. I've worked to repair my friendship with Hana, I spoke in depth with Jess concerning feelings and what not, and I came out to my mom. Which was the huge one, oh god. But she was accepting, and it went well. I won't go too far in depth but I think it's going to be okay. That was a huge step in my life I took, and I feel proud.

But now I'm really tired because I only got four hours of sleep.

Ohhhhh school how I do not want.

Current Mood:

optimistic

Current Music: Morning News

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12 May 2009 @ 06:10 pm

Oh ho ho.

Oh, hey. I have a journal, don't I? I should start using this again, especially now that summer is coming up.

Things are alright at the moment. Had a good day, really, and I feel accomplished. I wonder why mom started bugging me about my grades *now*, sixteen days before school ends? Oh well, I'm bringing them up. Finally convinced myself into tutoring, even though it's a bit late, it maybe the last push I need to keep from repeating Chemistry and Math. <3

I'm watching a thing on black holes. This is for people way smarter then me. xD

Anyhoo. Not much to talk about besides testing to see who's still reading. Show of hands, my friends?

Current Mood:

accomplished

Current Music: Moulin Rouge - Elephant Love Melody

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12 March 2009 @ 04:36 pm

Once I ran to you. . . now I run from you!

( The random rambles of a Dani. <3 )

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Current Mood:

optimistic

Current Music: Soft Cell - Tainted Love

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10 March 2009 @ 07:04 am

(no subject)

Good morning everyone.

Ugh, not looking forward to Monday. ; - ; Root Canal. But oh well, I'm happy to be getting it done now while under mom's dental plan instead of waiting. Especially because apparently it's abcessing. BUT BUT. <3 I got awesome painkillers, so while I'm a bit loopy, I'm feeling far better.

Planning for my summer trip. It's alot of work, I don't know if I should fly or take the train, but apparently there's only a one dollar difference between the two. xD God damn it. There are complications for each, especially considering where I live.

I'm just a tired Dani. I'm really tired. I wanna sleep after school today if I can so I can stop being so damn exhausted. Mentally, to. I don't like having to sit between two friends when they're not getting along. ; ; I want to be friends to both, so I don't want to talk meanly about either but that's what they seem to like to do.

Typical teenage girl stuff. xD

Oh my god. <3 Total Japan mood when it comes to my muses. I'm feeling Honda and Harry Potter like woah-- what the fuck, eh? xD <3

Anyhow. <3 I'll let ya'll go. o:

Current Mood:

tired

Current Music: Letters from Iwo Jima - Song for the Defense of Iwo Jima

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04 March 2009 @ 10:44 pm

(no subject)

GOT MY COMIC CON TICKETS. <33

The world is so happy right now. :D

Also did really good on my math test. Reading a great new book. Getting along well with everyone. Playing Tales of the Abyss. <3

I'm in a really goo place right now.

Current Mood:

cheerful

Current Music: Star Ocean 2 - Field of Nede

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02 March 2009 @ 07:15 am

(no subject)

SO.

MY FRIENDS.

WHO ALL IS GOING TO COMIC-CON

I know. I thought I was going to Anime EXPO instead. But my mind is made up. I'm going to comic-con for all the reasons people told me not to.

- Not alot of cosplayers (good. that's part of what was making me anxious)
- It's not so much about about cosplay (fine. I'd rather listen to panels and walk around and focus on people and things)
- It's not even supposed to be about anime (I never really was into anime, guys. o.o I'm starting to like American comics too. 8D)

I just wanna go. :< But I need to decide like. This week if I am or not.

So who all is going? What're you doing for the con, where're you staying and all? I'm curious!

I may be going with Hana, but I don't know because things are still kind of shakey with her (and I still need to discuss a few things with her <_<). So I want to keep other options open at least for a little bit. <33

Current Mood:

awake

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27 February 2009 @ 11:05 pm

(no subject)

Too tired to make complete sentances. Enjoy the English win that is my journal tonight.

- - - - - - - - -- - - -

( Lawl. )</div>

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21 February 2009 @ 08:37 am

And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide.

( Sing out this song, and I'll be at your side. <3 )</div>

Current Music: Moulin Rouge - Come What May

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18 February 2009 @ 06:57 am

(no subject)

It's good to be home.

I enjoyed going down south and hanging out with Stephanie, it was awesome and lots of fun, but I miss being home easily. Back to thirteen degrees in the morning, and my fluffy kitty waking me up by dragging his fat ass into my bed and pawing me.

School is going... bad right now. I've missed too many days, so I'm doing bad in many classes. Missing yesterday didn't help ( I couldn't come home in time to be back in school thanks to a winter storm snowing the roads off). Also I'm stressing over friends, stressing over the state of the economy, stressing over future. Gah. xD;

Now on top of college in Oklahoma, I'm eyeing college in Northren Oregon. (San Diego and Palm Desert are still considered... sort of. I don't want to stay in California, especially with how STELLAR they're doing with their money).

I did get new books though, thanks to family giving me late Xmas gifts of gift cards to Barnes & Noble. A Tom Clancy book, a book on Denmark & Norway in the 1940s, and Napoleon's Art of War. <3 Hurrah. I am delighted. Now just need to finish 1984. <_<;

... I still can't believe I'm doing so badly in school. ._. -Wiggle-

Current Music: Descendants of Darkness - Amethyst Rememberance

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10 February 2009 @ 09:46 pm

For the epic!

Do it. Because I love you all. <3a

____________________________

(1 Points) What's my first name:
(1 Point) My last name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(2 Points) Where do I live:
(2 Points) What color are my eyes:
(3 Points) Who am I in love with:
(2 Points) Where did we meet:
(3 Points) What am I afraid of:
(4 Points) Describe my taste in the opposite and/or same sex:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink/What do I drink:
(2 Points) What is my favorite Anime/Manga:
(2 Points) Who is my favorite Anime/Manga Character?:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(3 Points) Who is/are my favorite person/people:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(3 Points) What do I eat on pizza:
(3 Points) Name something I hate:
(3 Points) Name someone I hate:
(5 Points) My age:
(4 Points) Name a talent I have:
(5 Points) What are my vices:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:

Current Music: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps

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